Just when I have finally gotten used to one of my babies being out of the nest and away at college, another farewell is around the corner.
As her senior year is rapidly drawing to a close, I can feel my throat constrict. When she initially applied to schools we focused on the West Coast. Although we have deep roots on the East coast, she wanted to stay in California to be closer to her family and more specifically to her sister. They had grown up like twins. It was all planned out. They would share a room as kids, attend college together, and one day lives on the same street. The only problem is that my oldest being the first to go to college, set the stage. The school she chose, UCLA, was as easy to get into as securing a private visit with the Pope.
My second child isn't a slump. She has an overall GPA of 3.9 and has lived abroad, lettered in three sports, was Class Humanitarian, and is already interning in her field. Out of all UC schools, she thought she would have at least three to choose from. Last week, one by one, the rejections starting coming. She had gotten into two top East coast schools with academic scholarships but it looked like she and her sister would be parting ways. The average accepting GPA? 4.46. With standards that high, how can she compete? How could anyone compete?
Next week, we are on our way to see the schools where my daughter was wait listed. We are also appealing the UC decisions. Every ounce of me wants to hold on tight, not to let go. I want to grab onto her ankle and yell, "Nooo, you are not leaving me."
The issue is not what I want. I have already had my shot. The issue is what she wants. My yoga side tells me to let go. Maybe she needs the separation. Maybe she needs to be her own person and not live in her sister's shadow. Maybe just maybe, I was not in the driver’s seat. My mind goes to Carrie Underwood, "Jesus Take The Wheel."
Letting go, is not an easy process. I teach it every day through pranayama and intentions that drop you inside for peace. Over and over again, I preach the same message to my students.
"The brain is the hardest muscle in the body to control. Once we surrender we flow and the natural rhythm of the universe engages. The water turns from a trickle to a rhythmic cascade that dances down the mountain."
Tomorrow I will head south and focus on the journey, the journey to teach my children the skills to understand who they are and what they want out of life. As far as my daughter's journey, I will teach the steps and then stand back to watch the dance. I will guide her to surrender to the universe, surrender to that trickle down the mountain, the place where things cascade just the way they are meant to be.
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